If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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