So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
