My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
