when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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