I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
