Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
