Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
