Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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