you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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