I'm really into asian looking animals
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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