grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
