maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
