it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Dear god my vagina.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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