I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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