it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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