dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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