Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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