you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
