we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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