Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We have started to decorate penises.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
