Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
