oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
there is puke in my bra ... again
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
