About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
