Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
