Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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