Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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