I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
