We won't sleep together?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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