He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
