what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
