She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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