please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
