Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
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