it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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