margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
