I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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