dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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