No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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