lets start a swedish sibling band together
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
