just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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