I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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