found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
