The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
