So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
