What a fucking waste of an outfit
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
