Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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