Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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