It's Friday. Sex?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She even gives head with a lisp.
Semen is not good for contacts.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
