You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
