You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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