my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
they need to just BURY HIM!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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