He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
