she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
