Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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