He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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